Category Archives: Asperger Syndrome

Hormones, hormones, I love hormones!!

Yah, that I do. I love hormones because they are the juice that make our bodies run…but in transitional times their ups and downs drive me CRAZY.

Take Yesterday. It was a day like any other day. I ask a child to take something downstairs. Very basic. It stays in the same spot for hours and many reminders later. A while later, I blow a patience gasket and tell them they better get that basket downstairs or they may see the last of my patience evaporate before their very eyes.

Basket sits there for another day. Until I yell. “If you don’t get this silly basket where I want it now I will make you miss whatever it is you are looking forward to today. ”

Basket moves. but then the clothes are scattered as he slams it down. “You don’t have to yell, mom. You could have just asked me nicely.”

Oh, child. You are fortunate to have outgrown me or you would have been put over this knee of mine…way down here.

I know this is typical pubescent brainlessness at work here. I get it. Everyone is going through it or has gone through it.

But add that to the complete lack of following directions in home school and then a fiery meltdown over simple math and you have my life crazy in a nut shell.

It’s not all bad though.

In calling me out with yelling, he was being helpful. He didn’t know it but he was right. I don’t need to yell. He was being cheeky, but made a point. So I am going to swallow all those lecture words “that I’ve heard before and I know everything and you don’t have to go on and on and on.”

No, child I don’t. And I won’t. Next time YOU wash your underwear, stinky socks and soccer shirt. I am no longer yelling.

Let’s see what happens then, shall we?

I do know that hormones of puberty suck all the brain power out into the great beyond. I hope the brain power comes back.

COME BACK, Teenage brain, come back.

 

And all the parents to teens sit and laugh at me.

 

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The Nag or the Friend?

IMG_9926

Since becoming the Home School Mom (of the Year…not) of my Aspie’s life, we’ve had a few ups and downs. I’ve been the teacher extraordinaire, the grumpy teacher, the balanced teacher…the good mom, the evil twin sister mom, the huggy mom…it’s been a mixture of good and the not-so-excellent. Overall, I think we’ve made some progress. I can’t always be the Mom they remember. Teacher Mom gets in there and makes them work. Other times, Fibro Mom lays in bed for a day and tells them to do a few things here and there. I mark their stuff in bed and life goes on.

Lately, I am thinking because of the general state of pubescence, I seem more of a nag to him than usual. Or he’s losing some brain cells to the hormonal surges and I need to remind him more often. All he says he hears me say are things he has to do. He says he cringes when he hears his name because it will never be something fun or positive.

It hurts my heart a little that he perceives our lives like that. Me the Drill sergeant, never the soft mom who listens to his problems/happy talk all the time. He sees me as definitely someone who sucks joy out of his life. I call him back to what he is supposed to do in his life and school and little else. I have to say, I feel the same. I feel we’ve lost a bit of our rapport. It used to be great. I think it’s NORMAL for an almost-teen boy and his mom to not be as close but I still want to have a good relationship with him. How do I change this? How do I make it less him against me?

I should probably read a few books about it. There is probably some very good books on the topic.

A few ideas I’ve prayed about are:

*Taking more time to play with him. I need to play those Wii games I dislike. We always have fun doing it.

*I need to listen more. It’s been easy to gloss over what he’s saying and not really listen. We’ve had great conversations in the past but the kid can talk and there are only so many mine craft convos until I start staring into space. I need to be more aware of what he wants to talk about.

* We need to get out more. Or maybe he needs to. He needs more stimulation than ever. He likes to move, play ball, be with friends. It’s a normal part of his development when friends become important and parents aren’t. I get it. Just who do you trust with your son. We’ve had some interesting things happen to us in this community with “friends” so we are wanting to let him spread his wings, however we still need to be watchful and vigilant in whom he hangs with. I am praying about this one so very much. I want my child to have some really good friends and ones he and we can trust. It’s complicated when he’s an Aspie. He has the ability to make friends (yay) but not the ability to make good judgments when his friends are asking to do something he knows is wrong. Anyways…it’s a tough one.

* We do our best to give as many opportunities as we can to cater to our children’s interests and to keep them just busy enough but not too busy for family. When we home school two and public school two the dynamics of what that means gets complicated. We need him to have more positive interactions. This year he has found basketball difficult but has worked through it tremendously. Still, he thinks he has to do basketball because he has to and I’m praying he can start enjoying it. There are many people on his team with which he could enjoy it with.

* He wants to figure out what his passions are, what his purpose is so that he can plan for the future…what do I want to do with the rest of my life? I pray we can help him see what he is good at because there are so many things.

My sweet, kind, goofy, spirited boy…how I do love him. I pray that we can find a balance in it all as he grows . He was born for a purpose and I know he will find it.

The great highs and lows of Aspie livin’

skateboard
skateboard (Photo credit: expense)

This last year has been a time of great achievements and growth in J-man. HE had started to act less “Aspie” and more “normal”. Crying was a part of his daily life not to long ago, far longer than what the rest of the world thought he should cry. I have never actually taken to what the “world” or “they” tell us. His crying had become almost non-existent.  To see him be more calm and in control about things did my heart proud. He had made such big steps and is able to control himself to only show mild frustration and not let it escalate.

That was last year, before we decided to home school he and his sister full-time. I’m pretty sure there have been all the adjustments and frustration with HS’ing with his arch (family) enemy. It’s hard to be with a sibling that is bent on making you scream every chance she gets. On the other hand, she is entering pubescence as well as he is, so we have immature tween hormones at it’s finest here. She is crying or screeching and he’s barking like a dog or crying like the world is ending. Or meowing like a cat. Or he’s melting down like his life is at an end, at times.

I have mediated like a CHAMP and using the opportunity to build their rocky relationship…and it’s working. I play psychologist and they play my patients. They don’t see it, but it’s totally working. I clap my hands in silent GLEE! Until the crap hits the fan the next time.

Enter: Major Growth Spurt.

I was wondering why he was back-talking me and acting like what I said was the exact opposite of what he should do, then I realized he is pubescent. Yah, that’s right. And in the middle of the most major growth spurt of his life.

This made me shake my head at my blindness. Of course he’s going to be a hot mess while these things are happening in his body! What was I thinking? That since he is the size of an adult that he would think like one? Silly me.

No…it means a good dose of REGRESSION. We get to see the toddler years re-emerge into the bigger tween years.

christmas treeAdd to that the Christmas season, and we have some awesome fireworks around these parts, and I don’t mean the kind you buy off an illegal stand somewhere. No we have fireworks right in our own walls. Just as spectacular too. You should come over and watch. On the other hand…

I know that all the progress we’ve made is not lost, it’s just jumbled around in that brain that has a million chemicals trying to shoot around, in his body, so that he can grow and mature into the man he that I am sure he is becoming.

Watching your child lose part of their mind…the part they use to listen to our parental words like “Hey, man. Can you do the dishes for me please? Hello? Helloooo?” Well, it throws me back to my pubescence and I want to retaliate. But I don’t.

Ah forget it. I’ll just take the DS away from his face then he’ll “hear” me. Yah, that’ll work.

Putting my Psychologist on

The UN headquarters in New York
The UN headquarters in New York (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I feel like a full-time psychologist most days. Hokey smokes! Between everyone we have a basket full of nuts. I’m speaking mostly of myself, of course.

Here are some of the things that require specialized treatment…

Conflict resolution – Since I knew I was going to have J-man home for the year (and absolutely NO qualms about it) I figured it would be good for him not to be hanging out with his middle-aged mom all by himself. At the time, I thought taking my next oldest child out was a logical step. While I still know that it was a wise decision, sometimes I think I’ve gone crackers. They are polar opposite in personality and pretty much every second is a competition. They can be the best of friends and the very worst of enemies. Most of the time, I hear that I shouldn’t have brought Belle home to home school and she should go back to school. I have been tempted…very tempted. Alas, I have become a mediator the United Nations could hire. Seriously. I’m that good. In the end, if they can get along without maiming each other, we will have successfully glimpsed world peace.

Anxiety prevention – Ack. Who can prevent anxiety? Not me. At this point we’re just mopping up afterwards. We have put J-man into a few different new situations this year. New situations = Nitro Anxiety. What was I thinking? I love my life. He is bearing down and sticking with basketball even though he really is having challenges understanding the game. He ROCKS at the skills, it’s just the plays and social part of it that has him bamboozled. Having braces in his mouth is about as fun as punching myself in the head, but they motivated (bribed) him with the chance of winning an Xbox so he’s brushing when I ask. Yay! Small victories, people.

Depression – Preventing myself from this is a fulltime job. Just kidding…kind of. J-man has struggled with this from early on and we are dealing with (a little of) this right now. I am the cheerleader/listener extraordinaire.

Oldest Child is an Aspie – Having the oldest child be on the Autism Spectrum is a special pickle in and of itself. We were blessed to adopt four kiddos within five years and we do count it a blessing despite me sounding like a whiner at times. Whining helps me cope. When you have an oldest as an Aspie, you have a world that looks like all of your kids are “special”. What I mean by this is, they all notice that he needs some different attention. They all notice what gets him attention. They all TRY the same methods or their own special methods (that drive me mad) repeatedly. Yay…not. We also have the youngest who has some issues herself, and so we have a special little sandwich of goodies. A couple of them have recently admitted that they feel like they don’t get enough attention. Well, goodness sakes children, you do have three siblings all squished together! Any “normal” family would have the same feelings, methinks! At least I know that I play the psychologist role well enough that they can express their feelings. Let’s be thankful for that, now, shall we?

All in all, I really don’t feel proficient at anything much of the time. Now that I’ve written some of that down, I feel like I’ve given myself a much-needed couch session. Whew! Now I can get up off that couch and treat the rest of the patients! Thanks for being my therapists. I know you are out there…somewhere.

 

 

 

 

Braces + Aspie = ?

Eleven years ago he popped out two cute little front teeth. Then he popped out another two. Oh, he was the cutest little thing on the planet! At least, this mother can say that and be completely telling the truth, according to a mother’s prerogative. Back in the naïve days of parenting a first-born, we didn’t think about those two little teeth turning into a whole mouth that needed some serious adjustments. We just adored our little guy with cutesy-wootsy, itsy-bitsy teefers.

I had seen my friends’ and relatives’ kids all lose their cute little baby teeth and enter the “awkward” stage. Not saying they weren’t just the cutest little awkward kids ever, but still, the stage where the teeth are bigger than their faces, awaiting the adult head was an obvious stage to look forward to. Ahem. J-man hit that stage early because his big ol’ teeth came in earlier than his peers. He lost his first teeth just after he turned five.

Fast forward a few years and those teeth and his upper jaw moved forward noticeably and we knew we were in for a dental bill that we couldn’t afford to ignore. We started saving early. Now we are paying those dues and will be doing so for a spell.

Today was the day. It was the day he had looked forward to, in a dread sort of way, for a long time. We had prepped him with pictures, videos, a prep appointment…you name it. We were being proactive, but not in a crazy, in-his-face sort of way. We were very balanced about it, knowing his proclivity towards anxiety.

He has matured and grown so much emotionally that I didn’t really see the semi-trailer full of Anxious before it hit. We were having a normal day yesterday when we mentioned that tomorrow would be braces day. Enter tears of frightful proportions that we have not seen in a good long while. Whoa! This did not bode well. He asked his 1000 questions, I answered as best I could. I prayed, asked my Mom and Dad to pray and asked them to ask their prayer chain to pray. Can’t have too much prayer, I say.

This morning we get up to the usual 1000 more questions and my 873 answers. I secretly place an Ativan in my purse…for him, not me, though I eyeballed the dosage to see if it would be strong enough for an anxious mother. Just kidding…I also placed a stress ball and some natural homeopathic stress meds. I was so ready. Bring. IT. ON!

The Orthodontist office is the cleanest I’ve ever been in. Of course, it’s the only Ortho office I’ve been in. They make you take off your shoes outside the door and give you “sterilized DAWGS” to wear. I like it.

We entered and waited. J-man was noticeably amped up but doing really well. He hadn’t cried for at least an hour! A lady that we had not yet met called us in. J-man thrives when life is predictable so throwing in a new (but not new to the office) gal into his life messed with him right from the get-go. She was nice but definitely had the air of “don’t mess with me”. Right away he got super nervous, shaking and defiant looking. I know he’s not really defiant but really over-the-top freaked out, but she interpreted his mood as defiance and tried to lay down the law. It spooked him even more.

Eventually, we got him convinced to lay down, but he was still super freaked. He was shaking all over. After a very noisy half of an hour, the Ortho Dr. came in and said we should probably shut it down for today but that we’d have to wait for another 2 months and then try again. I really didn’t want to do this again. Not the anxiety, not the panic…none of it. I got down in front of J-man and had the best pep talk in a long while. I talked to him of how I didn’t care what he looked like. I knew he was an amazing kid whether he had the same teeth or whether they were fixed. I told him that God shone in his life no matter what too. I reminded him that HE had wanted his teeth changed. I told him that he would be healthier for it too. I let him think that he had some control over whether he got braces or not. I’d like to think I wasn’t fibbing…Little by little he calmed. I remembered to pray. As he lay back down, I laid my hand on his ankle and started praying for him. I wondered why in the world it had taken me so long! Immediately, he started to calm. The rest of it was done in less time than all the talking took. He was almost relaxed as they finished up. It only took over three times as long, as it usually takes, but we got ‘er done!

I was so proud of how he worked through the incredible amounts of internal distress to get through a very undesirable circumstance. The sensory aspects of getting braces is  unbelievable when you are a person with an extra sensitive system. His head area is his most crazy-making part of him. I am bursting with mama pride!

I realize that God is the real reason that we got through this seemingly innocuous procedure. I raise my hands in praise to the King of Creation. He made our child who he is. I am excited to see him progress and become the man he was created to be. Even these “simple” circumstances, that are monumental tasks for our boy, are ones that shape who he is becoming. God is doing a good work in our son.

Braces + Aspie = One proud and thankful Mom. There were moments we could have left the office minus the braces, but we left with braces and boy intact.

YIPEE!!

Now to figure out the high-tech tooth-brush. Why can’t they make that simple?

Feeling GOOD!

English: Houses for the junior school students...
English: Houses for the junior school students at Isha Home School (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This year we are planning to home school J-man and he’s, quite honestly, stoked!  I have gone from being nervous to super excited as I plan his traditional home school curriculum. Traditional means that I get to decide what to teach him and in what context he’s learning it. I will be responsible to a facilitator who will make sure we are on track. I have changed schools and will be going with a Christian Based organization called Wisdom and it is run close to where we live. I just need to get a few things finalized and we will be READY!!

Now, I have thought of bringing the middle two home. The middle two are firecrackers in a wild circus show. They have a tonne of energy, a lot of sparkle and seem to get set off by each other in the blink of an eye. It’s quite a show but not one I look forward to homeschooling.

Belle is fantastically bright and just itches for a brain challenge. Don’t ask her to clean or make her bed though…it gets ugly. I think if she came home she would be able to be stimulated intellectually as I can gear her program to make the most of her beautiful brain. She would make an excellent student and I would have the challenge of keeping her busy enough to stay out of trouble.

Ninja is a gem. He loves to buckle down and get things done and it could take him millennia to do it because he’s on his own timetable. I think that would be the most challenging for him. I would hope that I could give him the space he needs but teach him to get things done in an proper amount of time. He’s a bright kid too so I have no worries except the possible huge blow-ups between the middle children. He does have some issues with sensory and a few social issues so school has been harder for him than I thought it would be. Would he survive Gr.2? Absolutely.

Honey is staying in school for sure this year. It will give her a little more time to learn how to read, give us more time at home to get used to schooling at home. She is a busy BUSY creature so I don’t think bringing her home quite yet is the answer. She LOVES school. We’re keeping her in Gr.1 for this coming year, unless something unexpected happens.

I know that we will not bring ALL the children home, as Honey will do best this year at school. Of that we are confident. On the other hand, eventually our goal is to bring them all home the next year. I did a whole blog about reasons for it over here.

I am excited and nervous about our next year of homeschooling/school. It’s so up in the air in some ways. I know how to make myself crazy. Give me a lot of good options and it will keep me up at night!

We are praying for clear answers and wait in holding pattern for now.

Moment of dread

Yesterday I was having an intense conversation with a good friend when the call waiting (generally a nuisance feature) indicated the camp was calling. The camp where I sent my son this week. My heart did a triple take and I told my friend I needed to go b/c it was the camp. Immediately, she understood and hung up. I could not figure out how to hang up and pick up quickly enough as my fingers trembled a bit.

“Hello? Is this Judy?” Said the voice.

Inside my head I am wondering how bad is it that they are trying to contact my Mother-in-Law? She was one of the emergency contacts on the form.

“No this is Marcy, Josh’s mom.” I replied, keeping my cool.

“I was told to return your call.” Said the voice again.

“My call? You mean the call from last week?” I breathed. She was not calling that my child was maimed in any way.

“I was just given a message to call you.” She said.

“Well, I think it was about the registration and that we wanted to know if he was accepted or not. I think we worked it out last night. He’s there.” I was so relieved and a little annoyed at how after-the-fact it was for her to be calling. Truth be told, I was a little put off that it wasn’t an emergency and my heart had raced for nothing. Well, except that my child was apparently unscathed thus far.

“I thought you were calling because J-man was hurt.” I said.

“Oh no!  He’s just fine and doing really well!”

Ok then. I guess I could have just kept talking with my friend about a really important life event.

**So happy she called just to accidentally tell me that my son is doing well at camp!**

Stepping into the next stage

Klein Lake, Near Panther River, West of Sundre
Klein Lake, Near Panther River, West of Sundre (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Life passes by much too quickly these days, and my wish to slow the pace, increases.

One family misses a child tonight and they won’t get to hold her again. My friend’s niece passed away from an accident and their family will never again see the beautiful smiles that radiated from her. They will have a hole in their lives and family unit that she had once filled.

My heart has been reminded of my own loss, as I remember my own brother’s passing from an accidental drowning and how that placed a space in our family…and empty place. Our family forever changed by a moment.

I miss a child tonight. It feels like there is a hole in our little brood tonight. The likelihood of his return is likely and yet the terror that tries to infiltrate my heart is hard to fend off as I have these thoughts of loss so very present in my heart.

I came home and there was evidence of him on every corner. His collection of holes under the trampoline indicate the love for his salamander, who is given fresh earth worms every morning. His dirty sheets are reminders that I really need to teach him some responsibility. His lonely sister is indicative of what kind of older brother he is.

I cried. I am not afraid to admit, a piece of fear that I may never hug him again always tugs at my heart when I have to let him go, bit by bit. From my experience of loss comes the temptation to fear when I have to let him try and do things on his own. Not because he has always wanted to, but because I knew in the end it was good for him.

When I let him go to preschool at 3 yrs. old for 3 days a week, friends thought I should probably have kept him home closer to me and not send him away too soon. That preschool was the beginning of a very good thing. They helped him immeasurably…and me as well. But I cried. For weeks, as I dropped him off in the mornings, I secretly cried. I wanted to take him home. Protect him from whatever was happening. Make him feel safe.

When he started Kindergarten in a new school, I cried. I knew he would be confused because it wasn’t the same place that he had gone to school and there were all so many new things. Good people surrounded him and made sure that even if there were moments that were scary, he was safe.

I have been the person he goes to for information on what the world is saying to him. I am his interpreter for many situations. I can guess what he’s thinking, and reassure him. I can tell him what certain events or social situations mean and calm him down. I can talk him down from the proverbial emotional ledge. I can remind him to do things that he forgets to do.

There were a few nail biting moments this week. Our J-man was SO looking forward to camp and we had not received a letter confirming his registration nor gotten a call. I left messages and emails hoping to know whether or not to send him. By today, we just decided to pack up and go for it. He was as ready as ready does. We went to the camp, and sure enough they had not registered him. He was on the waiting list. Since he was there…they found the ONE extra bed they had open in a boys cabin. Answer to prayer, OH MY!! Thanks be to Jesus, who knew my son’s heart was ready for this. I asked J-man what he would do if they couldn’t find a spot for him. “I’d DIE.” Well, that won’t happen because you got in!!!  Yay!  Scary moments though.

This week I will miss my boy so much. He is my buddy, my pal. My incessant source of conversation. But I know this is the right thing for us to do. He is growing up and this is such a big step in his development. He may not clean his glasses for a week. That’s ok. HE may not change his clothes for a week and maybe never shower or put deodorant on. He may make farting or meowing noises and I pray that kids don’t laugh at him.

I hope he finds community there. I pray he is accepted for who he is and loved and taken in. I pray that God will be there in his times of anxiety, of which there will be many moments, I’m sure. I pray that he will meet God there and that his heart will be taken by the wonder of the Creator. May he be encouraged and strengthened in his faith as he branches out in this bold step of development.

What others see as a regular thing in childhood (going to camp), I look at with wonder. Has he come this far already and is he ready for this? Be still, my mother heart.

We were sitting on the lawn of the camp and I asked him if he was ready for me to go. He said “Not yet.” meaning that he still needed me but sometime very soon he would not need me. Within minutes his counsellor called his name to play basketball…I was on my way.  We were both not totally ready but there was the moment.

“I love you, son.”

“I love you too, mom.”

And we both stepped into a new stage in our lives.

The big UGLY cry

Simple white toilet brush
Simple white toilet brush (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What does it look like when a mom of an Aspie and three strong-willed kids goes off the deep end.

U.G.L.Y.

I have generally thought of myself as someone who has built up a pretty solid repertoire of patience. When the kids get crazy, the Momma just laughs at their antics.

Until she doesn’t.

Then it gets ugly and fast. Then there is wailing, gnashing of teeth, threats of running away, and a reminder to go to the therapist ASAP! There may even be nasty, red-eyed, blotchy-faced-crying-under-the-covers casserole, as a tasty side dish, to the meltdown. How do they do it? Those stalwart moms who never break a sweat. You know, those therapeutic moms who have way more on their proverbial plate than I? Oh yeah, they get dreadlocks, tattoos, sing Kum-bye-ya and go for vacation in Florida in winter. Just kinda kidding.

So I lost it.

It was not an unexpected sort of place to get lost in. I had really sound reasons for losing my nut.

Then we hugged, kissed, said sorry all around and I went to bed. I cried some more, because I needed it. I slept a little, too, because I had lost a lot of sleep the night before.

Sometimes we need to take care of ourselves, which I have pretty much not done for YEARS. Moms take care of a lot of stuff and crap. Sometimes the stuff is thrown at me and sometimes the crap backs up the toilet.

I usually love ball season, but I had all four registered in some sort of ball before I could holler a what-for at myself. I enjoy getting out of the house, finally, after a lifetime of winter broke about end of April. Any excuse to sit in the sun and watch my little peeps play ball is a fun way for me to spend my time. That is, until I realize, with the hubby coaching our son’s soccer team, I would be driver extraordinaire for the other three. That became complicated on away games as Momma just can’t be in 2 places at once. Tried it. Failed.

As ball season commenced so the appointments to Dr’s, therapists (OT, SLP x2, psychologists for both son and I, message for the mess I made of my back, chiropractor, psychiatrist for medical/mental related meds for son), birthday parties, field trips for 3 kids, church responsibilities….the list seemed to get a shot of steroids and intimidated me every time I looked at it. I honestly thought that if I didn’t have a nervous breakdown by the end of the month, I would have gained another victory.

My eyes may be swollen from the tears that passed through them, but the victory is that I waited until JULY to have a meltdown. As monumental and scary as it was. It told me to please take care of myself. Be diligent in self-care, with as many things that I am trying to juggle.

What started the mayhem may have begun the  night before…You know you are in trouble when the toilet brush looks like it was used instead of a plunger. Bad day ahead, mate! Do not even try cleaning the toilet brush. I tried. It was not pretty.

There must be some parents reading this that think that I must not be spiritual enough or must not be consistent enough with discipline or may think I am a bad mom because your kids have never told you that they hated you, thrown things in your direction, slammed the door for the bazillonth time, yelled at me “MOM YOU ARE GROUNDED AND I AM RUNNING AWAY!” before the age of six…well, you must have super compliant children. Hold them close and say a prayer for me. I have THREE strong-willed children that give me no end to scary stories (birth control to the masses, just read my future book) and an Aspie who loves to please me but is entering puberty so is pushing every boundary he previously did not think to push.

As I look back at the meltdown of epic proportions, I cut myself some slack. I have a fairly demanding job here. I am humbly and with internal and spiritual strength trying to grow my kids into adults that are loving, kind, generous, helpful, respectful human beings who shine the light of Christ to those around them.

Those low days will happen. I just hate it when it does.

We all need a little mental break here and there. I should be good for a while 🙂

Special Abilities

super hero
super hero (Photo credit: demandaj)

Leaping out of tall buildings, shielding the pedestrian from an oncoming bus, elasto-arms that grab babies out of incoming trouble, x-ray vision. Those are some very awesome superpowers to have if we could have them.

As a mom, I believe I have some God-given gifts that allow me to predict when someone will have a meltdown, so I prevent it. I can see behind my head to the trouble  brewing behind (which is me peering to the window to see the reflected image of my daughter about to punch her brother in the face), I can produce a meal before I even hear the “I’m hungry”…also, I have the sudden appearance of fairy wings which allow me to become the Tooth Fairy and flit around their pillows before I deposit that coin. Oh, I have so many special powers. Mommy powers, I call them.

I was invited to a luncheon where I learned more about how a certain organization has helped Albertan parents dream big dreams for their kids with “special abilities” (instead of disabilities) and I liked the term very much. So much so, that I am going to spend the rest of my time telling you what my child’s special abilities include. As a caveat, I think my children, whether they are the ones with challenges or whether they are neurotypical, have some special abilities written into their make up.

J-man has the special ability to make people laugh at a fart joke. Don’t tell him that or he’ll be telling fart jokes all over the place and it will make the special ability not as special. He also has the ability to flap his hands and make strange noises that get him straight outside to do some “heavy work” like jumping on the trampoline. He can also use those abilities to get extra jobs done for mommy as I have him cart heavy baskets of laundry up and down the stairs.

He has another special ability that I like to watch. He collects bugs, cares for them and loves them like family members. Only, bugs don’t have a terribly long life span so this ability can last all summer as he replaces the bugs at an alarming rate.

His other, more amazing ability is the ability to state the obvious. This can come in handy when another sibling is doing something mischievous and he comes in to state the obvious to me because I have glazed over eyes (another of my super powers) and haven’t seen the mischief myself. We can be found with slightly red faces with embarrassment when he states loudly “Why don’t they throw their garbage in the trash where it should go?” He is truly curious why other people don’t follow the rules and says it loud enough that they do.

I love thinking about my children having special abilities. It puts the “having challenges” thing in a different light. The issues are still the same, but we can, as parents look at our “little heroes ” as having qualities that bring light and laughter into our world. Often, these children are the ones that press on in adversity and teach us a few lessons. Lessons on life, and lessons on lightening up when situations seem bleak.

Do you have kids with “special abilities?” I would like to hear about them and celebrate their awesomeness.