Monthly Archives: March 2013

Bouncing

HE started bouncing this morning to a degree I haven’t seen for a while…since removing artificial dye and its artificial cohorts. There were occasional days where he was allowed, like Valentines Day, and one day was all he got. For the next 24-36 hours we had such a major noticeable difference in behavior, I’ve been more convinced that there is a need for keeping artificial dyes out of his diet.

So yesterday, without thinking, my darling man took the kids for a treat. Ice cream!  How exciting. Except they picked the Bubblegum flavor which is packed with dyes of all sort.

Cue bouncing. Thankfully, the season is changing and we can say “Go bounce on the trampoline.” But when he has to focus inside we are met with bouncing and hopping and flapping of arms and HE doesn’t even notice.

He says “At least I’m happy!”

Um yeah…

Detox includes lots of water. And lots of bouncing.

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Thumb sucking

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I was NEVER going to allow my kids to suck their thumbs. At least, I would never be that mom who has a five-year old still sucking their thumb. Ever.

Until I had my fourth kid in five years. Frankly, I was happy she was soothing herself, as a baby. I was even more deliriously happy that she was sleeping through the night and I didn’t have to get up and pat the floor around the crib to find that elusive paci. She was a happy (as they get) baby and did not even try the pacifier once. Nope. She spit that thing out as many times as I tried to stick it in her little mouth. I did my job attempting to prevent that most scandalous behavior. But, she loved that thumb, and I didn’t have the heart to make her gag and spit out soothers after the first 10 attempts on my part.

So I shrugged and thought to myself “How long will she like that thing anyways? She won’t go to college with her thumb in her mouth…will she?”

At this point? A valid question.

I have not made a big deal of it hoping that she would naturally just stop sucking the handy self-soother eventually.IMG_2010_06_15_1680 (2)

My first baby spit out his soother and couldn’t find it, so at 13 months old, he was over it. My second baby loved her soother and I didn’t make her give it up until after she was three. We had a big move right around that time and potty training and soother good-byes were too much. So we took it, after our move, in a blaze of glory. She didn’t give up easily. Our third had ear infection troubles and the ENT told us to get rid of it. No big deal, he did awesome! So, I thought, it would be with the fourth. Call me naive, call me stupid, call me inexperienced (ha!).

Enter thumb-sucking five-year old.

How in the world do you unattach someone from their thumb? How do you motivate someone that’s been doing it all their lives?

Poor thing. I had to get wiley. I put bandages around them. Bandages she couldn’t take off. Then she learned how to take them off, but didn’t tell me.

I tried the yucky stuff. You know, the stuff that tastes terrible? Yah, that didn’t work all that well either.

I kept putting bandages on every night and then some nights we’d forget. Bless her, she didn’t forget! I bribed her with this. You have to check these items out, especially if you are a parent to a SPD child.

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Photo credit InnovAID

My mom and dad came to take care of the kids, when we took off for Jamaica, and I thought we may have a relapse, if you can call it that, since I’m pretty sure she never stopped. She had a callous on her thumb from it’s overuse. After we got home my dad mentioned that he hadn’t seen her sucking it, so I looked on her thumb and sure enough, her callous was all but gone!

I guess the bribery worked. Or us going away. Or some good, old-fashioned prayer

Taking him out of school

Today we made the decision to pull our boy from school.

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It was a big decision but one that has been coming for a long, long time.

Before he even entered school we had entertained thoughts that his differences may make him a target for other children who would not be understanding of his differences. In other words, we pretty much knew bullying could be an issue for him and put him into public school hoping that “the establishment” could help other kids become more compassionate and keep those kids accountable for their actions. We knew that it could be a learning and strengthening thing in is life. That is to a certain point. We know that adversity brings great strength or great chaos into a person’s character. We were committed to helping him be the person of strength. We’re not through on this one, but we see great strides.

That being said, we didn’t know that he would face such drama! His last five years have been filled with situations that have not been something any child should go through. I can’t go through it all as I love the kids that have done and said things to him, and I’m not going to release information that isn’t mine to share. I see their potential as much as I see my son’s. There are some amazing kids in that class but they are also a tough bunch. They are with each other from Kindergarten until they graduate, most of them. It’s a small town. It goes down like that.

When things took a dramatic turn last week in an incident that involved some of his closest friends, who described it as “it’s just a game”….that’s when we knew that our boy had to be kept safe. When close friends, whom he is fiercely loyal to, then betrayed that trust and became a part of the group targeting him, well, the last bell had been rung.

I need to keep my child safe. He doesn’t get all the situations going on. He can’t keep track of all the innuendo and whether they are mocking him this time or not, whether that friend is telling me to do something I shouldn’t? He has too many messages coming at him that are NOT healthy and have scarred his sensitive heart.

HE has been AMAZING in his ability to get through the difficult and sometimes excruciating  “incidents” he’s had to endure. He’s the kind of guy who hates conflict (doesn’t know why they start) and having to work it out. If it is “worked out” (according to the system in place) then he thinks  all is good and everything is right again. When best friends turned on him he didn’t know what to think. He just wanted to be a part of the group and the group excluded him, on many occasions. So much confusion right now.  We needed to take him out of it. Thankfully, he left on a good  note thinking all was well and friends were friends. I am thankful that the powers that be have been committed to try and mend situations as best they can. Some of it is out of their hands and some of it is interpretation of the “law”.

Sure it’s going to be a process. I mean, Me? Teaching Math??? Scary thought. But you know, I am ready to do anything my kids need to help them to be beacons of light in this world. I am prepared to do what it takes to parent each of my children in the ways they need me to. I want my kids to be Brave kids who can tackle what the world throws at them. I believe my son has learned a bit of what the world can throw at him and in the end faced it well. He’s grown so much!

I am proud of him and see him thriving with a homeschooling atmosphere. We can adapt our lives and his education to fit him. I can give him one on one personal attention and introduce him to a different social group. One that I can keep track of personally.

He is going to ROCK it!

But first he’s grieving a change and he’s grieving his change in friendships. Aspies don’t love change and this is a change he is not looking forward to. Eventually, it will just become what we do and everything will get easier and we’ll have a routine/schedule that he’ll get into.

I am so proud of the things I see developing in his life and look forward to bringing the tools to further develop his potential personally.

Aspie elevating

Brain cell(s)
Brain cell(s) (Photo credit: jepoirrier)

Not a long post today on what it looks like for my Aspie to get all elevated when stressful times are about to occur or when his routine is messed up.

The imminent departure for us means it gets messy in his brain for him.

*Schedules are upset (though Grandma has awesome ideas)

*Sleep is interrupted because he’s sleeping with a noisy (snoring) brother b/c we are in his room until we leave (biggest bed). He gets it back when we leave so the sleep should be better.

*Sleep deprivation makes the stress of us leaving seem all that worse.

*Focus for more than a nano-second goes to crap

*Incessant talking ramps up

*Eating stops because he’s spaced out and stressed out.

*Lack of food makes him more grumpy. At school it makes him emotional.

*Hand flapping gets noticeable and irritating if you are sitting at the table with him (which sister was and then it got ugly fast)

All of this is very predictable and will be somewhat out of his control, despite usually not having to deal with all the extra Aspie behaviors anymore, until we come back and decompress.

Hoping that he eases back down to stress levels that they can all cope with. Here’s to hoping.

This is why I need the break. Sometimes the extra behaviors drive me wild.

Then again, I’m going to miss my Aspie boy.

 

Daddy and Mommy are running away for a week

Jamaica
Jamaica (Photo credit: Cruise Buzz)

My darling hubby and I are leaving for a vacation to a tropical paradise in a few short nights. Twenty years of marriage, four kids, and one cat later, we need it! WE haven’t been out of country together since Disneyland 1996. That’s a long time ago! And if you count that I had a bad sinus cold at the time, it really doesn’t count. I can’t WAIT!! We’re going to Jamaica…**insert happy dance here**

And do you know what that means to an Aspie? Yes, it means we are upsetting his apple cart of life and throwing lots of “not the regular” kind of things at him.

I am ok with this. And he thinks he is ok too.

He is almost eleven. My first baby turns 11 while we’re gone! Oh, I know, we are very mean. He is getting so “mature” and more able to anticipate things. Happily, he gave his blessing as he seems to know that this time away, in the sun, will do us some good. My eldest daughter thought she may stow away in our suitcase. I don’t think so, chickie, because I’m doing a head count before we leave.

While we are gone Grams and Gramps will take care of the critters. They travelled from two provinces away, on winter roads, to help us pull off this escape of grand proportions. They are going to do fabulous!  Both the kids and the grandparents.

I think I worry my parents with all the talk of sleep walking, keep them off of red dye, please don’t forget this medication… but I know they will be awesome. Afterall, they have to be, because we’ll be a long plane trip away and can’t call us home. Tee hee.

No really, I think my kids will keep it together until we get back. That’s when there will be he** to pay. A whole week out of their “normal” routine with mom and dad gone? Ow, it’s probably going to hurt. But then, we’ll have a tan to remind us what an awesome time we had together, look at each other with a “Hey Mon” and chill about it. Right?

RIIiiiggght.

I’m not thinking of the “fall-out”, as I so lovingly, have dubbed what happens after a vacation/time out of our normal routine. I am thinking Jamaican thoughts. Laying on the beach thoughts…happy thoughts.